The Dangers of Weight Loss

I took that picture on my way back to work from lunch one day in my car... I see it as a sign.

I have been trying my best to be healthier lately. Admittedly I have put on a few pounds since the birth of my last baby, Stone. But HELLO! It has been over six years now... The "I had two babies in a row!" excuse no longer works. While I am not a blob, I am the biggest I have ever been and I'm ashamed. I blame myself completely, I do not work out and I have horrible eating habits. Anyone who doesn't work out says that they never have time. Well, SERIOUSLY I do not.

I get up at 4:45am as it is to make it into work by 6:30am. I stay until 2:30pm and need to bust my butt to get to the boys school before 2:55. From there my entire evening is devoted to them. Playing, dinner, baths, stories, and then bedtime and by that time I am EXHAUSTED just to start all over again the next morning. So unless I get up at 3:45am (an HOUR earlier---not a fan of this idea) I just don't know where I could possibly put a regular work out routine. It is driving me crazy and unfortunately on my mind CONSTANTLY!

I have however been making healthier choices (salads, sandwiches, A LOT of broccoli, chicken, and of course Good Ole Lean Cuisines) and am seeing a difference. It seems my breasts have decided to shrink. Bleh!

I will continue to try to lose weight for those smaller sizes are calling me home.

The Easter Lie

A few days before Easter the boys, like tons of other children, had their picture made with the Easter Bunny. Stone recently has brought it to my attention that there was a man in the costume from this year and that the previous year at preschool the whiskers were drawn on.

I am all about children believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy because in my mind those seem to be the most believable, but I am not too sure where I stand on the Easter Bunny so I didn't really push the subject with him and try to convince him of anything. Should I try to sell a huge hopping rabbit with pastel covered baskets, hiding hard boiled eggs in the yard to a six year old? I think right about now is the time where the wheels start turning and you slowly figure out that the these characters are fictional and you just pretend in front of your parents for show.

***Please let Sam and Stone believe or pretend to believe for awhile.***

Welp, I did it!

You know that one thing that you just suffer over for days thinking about it and then it happens and it wasn't any big deal at all? That thing that makes you so worried that you start to feel your stomach turning over and it could result in you feeling hot and having a horrible bowel movement? (Okay, too graphic) Well, that happened to me this weekend. Not the horrible bowel movement part, but all of the other stuff.

I have been so worried because I knew that this weekend I would be alone at work. I have been alone before, all the time actually, but not quite like I was this weekend. Not quite under this much pressure. Pressure for me alright. For two weeks now myself and others have been scheduling a VTC that seemed to grow and GROW. From just 14 endpoints to 35 and then wanting more. I haven't done this on my own as of this weekend. Adding to the pressure was that the Admiral was here and there wasn't much for distraction if I made any errors. BUT, I didn't. Everything went absolutely wonderful. At test time it came up and then from then on it was successful. I seriously cannot tell you how much I was stressing. I may however, have my very first wrinkle. So sad.

It tells me a bit about myself.

THE LIST:

1. That I need to work on being more confident.

2. I need to find ways to relax.
and
3. I should stop letting things bother me when there really is no need.

The list seems dang near impossible for me.

HOW I AM/LIST COMPARISON:

1. I have never been a confident person. Maybe I have put forward the appearance of being confident, but really I am a shy person with the same hang ups about myself as others. Are they looking at me? Are they talking bad about me? What if they don't like me?

2. It's hard for me to relax and I'm not just talking about napping or chilling out with time away from the children. I am talking about how I always have a back ache. (I have convinced myself that I am working on a hunch back) I can barely sleep at night because I am constantly positioning my pillow so as not to allow my head to face upwards and help the hump growth process along. (this has been going on for awhile) Without sounding crazy I always here a voice in my head. WoW! Too Late! It's not just anyone's voice, only mine, but I am constantly talking things out in my mind. How can I relax when it is always so noisy?!?!?!

3. I will always be the person who dwells on things. Someone who will never give up or surrender to an argument and I always think that I am right! I let the littlest things bother me from the way people chew their food to the way that people idolize others when I think that the person they idolize is a complete idiot.

DFW Weather makes a not so happy night

The weather was just outrageous last night. Threats of tornados and baseball sized hail. I was up basically all night just tossing and turning. I have to wonder because I have never lived in this kind of weather environment before (I mean the tornados) What do you do when it is the middle of the night? The satelite for the TV doesn't work, maybe the power is out. Do you take cover? Well, I would get my babies and sit in the pantry until the storm passed. Do you wake the children up to take cover when you are not even positive that there is anything truly coming because you have no communication with the outside world?

Texas weather is incredibly unpredictable. They have a saying here that many people have shared with me time and time again from my first stay in Texas that says; "If you don't like the weather just wait five minutes."

Well, I DO NOT like the weather. Not even a bit. I find myself not even enjoying the new weather that arises after the five minutes.

There was no Autumn with trees full of beautiful colored leaves about to fall. Instead it seemed as though the trees went instantly bare and ugly for winter. The Winter does not give you a full bed of beautiful snow. Winter brings a few hail and sleety storms that send everyone here who drives into a "tizzy". Accidents left and right, people dying, schools closing. People who are true northerners just wouldn't believe it. The spring so far has brought nothing but inclement weather. Severe thunder storms, even freezing, rainy weather. I am thankful for LOWES lovely year long guarantee on the flowers that we purchased to landscape our front yard. **If any die as long as we have the receipt we may return them for a new plant.** And Summer is just a stretch around the corner. I arrived in the summer from Hawaii. I stepped off the plane here at Dallas Fort Worth and instantly realized that the heat was up to 110 degrees. The summers are miserable for me. My skin gets blotchy and I get cranky when I am hot. Summer is the season for shorts and tank tops, bathing suits, and flip flops. All of which I DO NOT enjoy wearing.

Alright I am done complaining about the weather. I shouldn't complain about something that I cannot change anyway. I am trying to get away from that. It only makes you seem like a miserable, grouchy person. Oh the things I need to work on.

The First Day

I am starting this blog for the same reason that Kim (my cousin; she can be found at Disney Divas Daily Dish) is starting hers. It'll be a good way to stay in touch a side from Myspace with family and friends...

A little about me:

I am a mother to Sam and Stone. Both are wonderful boys with their own little quirks of cuteness and not so cuteness. Sam and Stone have made me who I am today. And I know that everyone says that about their children, but I mean this 100%! I would still be out partying and having a completely different kind of life if I didn't have them. Hmm.....

I am 28. My birthday is July 7th so that means that I will be edging near the thirty mark here soon. 29 is a year of "Oh my Gods". The year that you think about all that you want and need to accomplish. A year where you think about how maybe you have let yourself down and the year where you try to make a difference to make sure that you are on the right track.

I am a contractor for the United States Navy. My company is SAIC. No, I am not in the military anymore, I was, but that was long ago now. I am on staff at Commander Navy Reserve Intelligence Command in Fort Worth Texas. It is an interesting job to say the least and has been a wonderful tool for me to meet people and make lifelong friends. I meet new people constantly and am always a little moved by the committment of the families and the members of the United States Military. A committment that I would never not want to know and be a part of.

So now you know I live in Kennedale, Texas. Not the place that I would have ever dreamed that I would land, but I did and I'm glad we did. Brought the boys here to be near family. They have never really known family until recently. So I guess though I try to fight the feeling everyday, I am glad to be here. My children have learned what it is like to have uncles and grandparents and cousins! I've bought a house here and who knows?! Maybe this place will be a great place for Sam and Stone to raise their families.

I am an average woman. I would never stand out in a crowd. I am not too insanely special in any area. I am constantly dieting like every American. I can't play the piano with my toes and I am never going to be asked to model for Victoria's Secret. I am not the brightest person and not the most exciting by any means. BUT I am a generally happy person. I love laughing and making people laugh. I care about others with all that I am and I am pretty sure that I am going to live to be 125.

I hope you come back to share my daily life. I promise that from here on out it may not be very interesting, but it may be a little fun to read for just a few minutes. Everyone loves being a bit of a voyeur. Leave me a comment. Let me know you are here. Tell me about your blog. I'll be there.